Please Do What I Need, Not What I Want

According to DBT-C, a parent's number one job is simple: make their child feel safe. Not magic. Not perfection. Just safety.

Kids can find friends, learn from teachers, have fun with others. But only parents can create that deep-down feeling: "I'm okay. I'm safe in the world. I can fall apart... and still belong."

That's the piece only you can give. And when you give it, it frees everyone.

You don't have to be the entertainer, the teacher, the best friend. You just have to hold the ground. Safety first. The rest can be shared.

And safety? It comes from deep listening—seeing the need behind the want, then acting on what they truly need rather than what they're asking for.

In my case, this helps me prioritize, stay calm, and choose my approach—always anchored in their needs. It also gives me strength to stay present, because needs are sometimes very quiet. We need to find silence to hear them, beneath all the noise of wants and demands and big emotions.

When I remember this is my one job—creating safety through seeing their needs—everything else becomes cleare